


in other words (i love you)

by niniibaek



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Reincarnation, Soulmates, and dojae is even more background, im really proud of this so i hope u guys like it, it hurt writing this, markmin is background, more characters and relationships will be added as the second chapter comes out!, prince! taeyong for the first chapter, true love uwu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:28:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25557343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niniibaek/pseuds/niniibaek
Summary: Taeyong is sixteen when he meets Johnny for the first time. He is, unfortunately, also the Crown Prince of his kingdom, and Johnny is just the son of the local innkeeper. Except, of course, that’s not just what Johnny is. He is also kind, and sweet, and so handsome that sometimes Taeyong can’t even look away.(or, taeyong and johnny meet in two different lives but fall in love all the same)
Relationships: Lee Taeyong/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Mark Lee/Na Jaemin
Comments: 8
Kudos: 65





	1. the prince and his lover

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! this is the longest ive written for one chapter and im insanely proud of it! second chapter will be longer and more in depth but i dont know when it will come out so im sorry about that.  
> this may seem kinda rushed but its just a little prologue?? of sorts??  
> anyways, enjoy!  
> if you have any questions please send them my way on twitter (@niniibaek)

Taeyong is sixteen when he meets Johnny for the first time. He is, unfortunately, also the Crown Prince of his kingdom, and Johnny is just the son of the local innkeeper. Except, of course, that’s not _just_ what Johnny is. He is also kind, and sweet, and so handsome that sometimes Taeyong can’t even look away. 

Johnny’s village is located just an hour from the palace. Out the front gates, and a straight shot through the dense forest. Taeyong makes this trip as many times as he can, which ends up being only a few times a month. He hides out in the inn with Johnny, holed up in his room. It’s bright and warm. The prince has come to think of this tiny four-wall space as more of a home than the palace he goes back to at night. 

And so, the morning after Father broke the news to him, his first thought was that of going home. 

“What’s on your mind, my love?” Johnny asked on that particularly chilly morning. Taeyong had just snuck away from the palace and practically ran here, barreling into Johnny’s room and holding on to the taller boy for dear life. They lay in bed now, legs and hearts tangled as one. 

“I don’t know how to tell you. It hurts my heart just to _think_ about it.” His fingers curled tighter around Johnny’s ratty shirt. 

“Take your time, then, sweetheart.” He said gently. Always so gently. “ I’ll be right here for you.” 

“Sometimes I think life would be easier if I wasn’t the prince. Maybe if I was just a weary traveler, we could have led a different path together.” Taeyong ponders. “But that’s selfish, isn’t it? I have all this wealth, and I never go hungry, and some would do anything to have that luxury.” 

Johnny is drawing patterns into Taeyong’s tummy. It tickles. 

“Maybe it is selfish. Or, maybe it’s selfless. To give up everything good in your life to follow your heart. To strip away your own birth right to be with the one you love.” 

“Love? Isn’t that a little too soon, Johnny Seo?” Taeyong giggles softly. 

“On the contrary, my little rose. I think it’s been far too long.” 

“Johnny. I’m getting married.” Taeyong blurted out, wincing at how it sounded. He should have chosen a different approach. 

“But I haven’t proposed yet?” 

It was stupid. It was so _stupid_. The joke was inappropriate for the time, but it brought a smile to Taeyong’s face. He hid it in Johnny’s chest. 

_If only you knew how badly I want you to._

“Not to you, Johnny. Father is forcing me to marry a neighboring princess to secure our future.” The prince says instead. Johnny smiles. There’s a sadness in his eyes that makes Taeyong think that he has been expecting this for some while now. 

“You’re a prince, Taeyong. We both knew this was going to happen eventually.” 

It’s true. It’s true and it hurts so badly. 

“I don’t want to lose you, Johnny.” Taeyong’s voice is small and it shakes as he tries to breathe. The air that enters his lungs is sharp and painful and he’s _scared._

“I don’t want to either.” 

And there’s a relief in the fact that Johnny is just as scared as he is. 

\---

Taeyong returns to the palace after dinner. There’s a stillness to the hallways that he has gotten used to. It’s been there since the day his mother, Queen Taeyeon, had tragically passed away when he was seven. It used to suffocate him, the silence. Now it only serves as a reminder of what used to be. 

He snuck into his room quickly, leaning back against the closed door with a heavy sigh. 

“Sneaking out again?” A tiny voice speaks, and Taeyong almost screams. Sitting on his bed is his little brother, Mark. 

“Don’t do that, Mark. You scared me.” Taeyong exclaims, making his way over to the bed and sitting down next to him. 

“Sorry, hyung.” And Mark does look a little sheepish, so Taeyong forgives him. Taeyong always forgives him. 

Mark is the only person that knows about Johnny, and Taeyong intends to keep it that way. His little brother knows Taeyong inside and out, and he definitely knows when Taeyong is harboring a crush on someone. It’s kind of embarrassing, really, especially when Mark makes it his mission to humiliate him in front of his crush. It happened when they were younger and Taeyong had a crush on Jaehyun, the boy training to be a guard. 

Mark had tripped him as he was walking up the stairs, and he had fallen right into Jaehyun’s arms. They laughed it off after, but the searing red on Taeyong’s cheeks made him too embarrassed to show his face to Jaehyun again. Thankfully, now years later, they have both moved on. There’s a rumor that Jaehyun is now dating the son of the head chef, a boy named Doyoung. Taeyong feels a little resentment for the fact that they won’t have to deal with arranged marriages, but does his best to shake it off. No use worrying about things that won’t change. 

They move to lay in the bed, Mark cuddling his way under his brother’s chin. Even at six years old, he still finds the most comfort in Taeyong’s arms. There’s silence for a few minutes. 

“Do you love him, hyung?” 

It’s not really a complicated question, but Taeyong doesn’t quite know how to answer. He doesn’t really know what love is. But, if he had to guess, it would be what he feels when he’s with Johnny. The shaky hands when Johnny touches him, the way his stomach falls when Johnny holds his hands, the way kissing Johnny leaves his feet stuck to the ground and his head in the clouds. 

“I think so. Yeah.” His voice doesn’t waver. Taeyong thinks this is the truest he has ever been to himself. 

\---

The wedding is set to be in two weeks. Taeyong’s betrothed is Princess Yeri from the kingdom of Lysteria, who is pretty and kind. Taeyong thinks if his heart didn’t already belong to another, he would have fallen for her. 

The prince spends the next two weeks preparing for the wedding. His measurements are taken, his dancing skills are polished, and his vows are written. Before he knows it, it’s the day before the wedding and he hasn’t seen Johnny since that night two weeks ago. There’s an itch in his bones to see him, but the fear of getting caught makes him rethink. The knights guarding him are more alert than ever now, with Yeri and her family staying as guests. The extra protection is needed. 

And, yet, he pushes through the thoughts. It’s early enough that the guards will be drowsy, and the next shift hasn’t started yet. Now is the best opportunity to sneak out. 

Quietly, Taeyong tip-toes to his window. He’s thankful that his room is situated on the first floor, making the drop down to the ground easier. Once on the ground, he pulls his hood over his head. Not much of a disguise, really, since the cloak he has on has the family insignia on it. It’s all he has. 

The sun isn’t even over the valley as he sneaks to the west gate. There’s an opening he made the first time he snuck out, two years ago. He remembers when he returned that time, his Father had asked where he had been. He claimed to have been holed up in the library, and his Father had believed him. Thank God his Father never visits the library. 

Ever since then, Taeyong tries to sneak out at the same time each week with the claim of being in the library. It’s worked so far, but he knows after he gets married he won’t be able to sneak away anymore. This might be the last time he can see Johnny. 

The forest is silent as he makes his way to the village. Not even the birds are chirping, solemn as if they can sense how Taeyong is feeling. It’s comforting, actually, not being the only one suffering. 

All too soon, he reaches the entrance to the village. The sun has made its way well into the sky at this point, and Taeyong can see people milling around. Thankfully, the entrance isn’t too packed and he is able to sneak through with no trouble. Taeyong thinks he’s just _that_ good at sneaking around, but in reality it’s because all the villagers are used to seeing the Crown Prince in their tiny village. 

The inn is never busy this early in the morning, and today is no different. Johnny’s Mother, a sweet lady who always squeezes Taeyong’s cheeks fondly, is watering the plants that sit on top of the main desk. She grins when she sees him, but the happiness doesn’t really reach her eyes. Taeyong doesn’t blame her. 

“Good morning, my Prince.” The softness in her voice is still there. Taeyong is grateful she doesn’t hate him. 

“Good morning, Mrs. Seo. Is Johnny here?” And Taeyong hates how quick he is to ask, how he doesn’t even converse more with the woman who has become like a Mother to him. But her smile is knowing, if not just a little solemn, and she sends him up to the second floor. 

He knows the path to Johnny’s room like the back of his hand. Up the stairs, to the left, and three doors down. The door is familiar, with it’s chipped wood and rusty doorknob. There’s a name tag hanging on the door, the names almost faded. 

‘ JOHNNY’ it reads, the letters big and blocky. Taeyong runs his fingers through the letter, tracing the name that races through his mind all day. Just under Johnny’s name, smaller and almost unnoticeable, is his own name. Johnny had insisted that Taeyong write his own name. Something about officially making the tiny room _theirs._ He feels the tell-tale sign of tears prickling his eyes and knocks softly. 

There’s rustling behind the door, and then footsteps, and then the door is opening and Johnny is standing right in front of him. The tears run down before he can stop them. 

“ Johnny.” He breathes. The older boy is a mess, eyes sunken and hair a mess. There’s a tightness to his body that worries Taeyong. And, yet, his face is welcoming and kind. His hands find their way to Taeyong’s own, and he is being pulled into a hug that feels so much like home that he ends up crying harder. 

They stand there together for what feels like forever, Taeyong smushed in Johnny’s chest and Johnny burying his face in Taeyong’s hair. He can feel Johnny’s tears wetting his hair. His own are drenching Johnny’s shirt. Neither of them mind. 

“I’m sorry, Johnny.” Taeyong whispers. His hands are clutching the back of Johnny’s shirt, too scared to let go. Johnny doesn’t answer. He just holds Taeyong tighter, like he’s promising to never let him go. 

_That’s impossible,_ Taeyong thinks bitterly. _You can’t hold me forever._

Later, as they cuddle in the bed, Johnny asks Taeyong what his dreams are. 

“I thought my dream was to rule the kingdom. To be a good king for the people. But, really, that’s not all true. I wanted to rule the kingdom by your side. I wanted to marry you.” 

“I wanted that too, Taeyong. But a dream is a dream for a reason, and I think it’s time we both wake up and realize that.” Johnny takes a deep breath. “I love you, and I want to marry you, but it’s impossible. You know it is.” 

Taeyong _does_ know this. He knows this but he’s too scared to admit it. 

“You’re just a coward.” Taeyong cries, trying to block out the voice that’s telling _him_ the same thing. He sits up, untangling from Johnny’s arms. “If you really loved me, you’d fight for me!”

And Taeyong is angry, and sad, and not thinking. He’s yelling, uncharastically loud. He’s never raised his voice at Johnny before. 

“Then I guess I don’t love you.” Johnny is quiet as he speaks. His voice doesn’t waiver. 

In that moment, in just _one_ second, Taeyong feels his heart break. He feels the pieces shatter and drop, cutting his insides up until he feels like coughing up blood. Death by heartache doesn’t seem all that impossible now. 

“You-you don’t mean that. You can’t mean that.” Taeyong hates how his voice breaks. 

“I’m sorry, Taeyong. I think it’s time you leave. Tomorrow is a big day for you.” He sounds defeated, broken. Regretful. 

Taeyong, soul beaten down into the depths of his body, nods. He wants to fight, but he doesn’t even have the energy to do so. 

“Okay, Johnny. Okay.” 

And if Taeyong stops in the middle of the forest on his way home to sob, only he and the night creatures will know. 

\---

There’s a lot of things that scare Taeyong, but there’s only two things that absolutely _terrify_ him. One of them was falling in love and getting his heart broken, which has obviously already happened. The second was war. And with the way his Father was pacing the throne room, Taeyong would guess that the second was close to coming true as well. 

Taeyong snuck into the castle last night at almost midnight. He expected it to be silent, but it was the complete opposite. The guards were walking, no, _running_ , with grim faces. Even the ones placed at his doors were gripping their swords tighter than normal. 

“What’s happened?” Taeyong questioned one of the guards, Jaehyun, who had the cutest dimples Taeyong has ever seen. 

“It’s not something you need to worry yourself with, Your Highness.” 

“I’m not asking. I’m ordering you to tell me.” 

Jaehyun sighed, knowing that he could never reject an order. 

“The King of Lysteria has died. Princess Yeri found him stabbed to death in his chambers.” 

The shock that runs through Taeyong is so sudden that he finds himself breathless. 

“The Princess fainted at the sight and hasn’t woken since.” Jaehyun continues. “Our King has gathered everyone in the throne room as of right now, save for Prince Mark and his guard.” 

“Take me to the throne room.” Taeyong demands after he finds the strength to speak. Jaehyun glances at the other guard, another man named Yuta, and they nodded at each other quickly before agreeing. 

“Of course, My Prince. Follow us.” 

The throne room wasn’t far from Taeyong’s personal chambers, which used to bother the prince because of the endless chatter that he could hear even with the heavy doors closed, but now he is extremely grateful for the short distance. 

Jaehyun and Yuta left him at the doors as he entered, stationing themselves to guard the doors. 

His Father was pacing the room. The advisors and guards of the Kingdom of Lysteria have seated themselves at the table situated in front of the throne, auras steaming with rage. The air is stifling. 

“Father. I came as soon as I heard.” Taeyong used his Prince tone, voice powerful but with a backing of gentleness to ease whoever he was talking to. It works wonders on visiting Princesses and Princes who are particularly shy to meet him. 

“Thank you, my son, but you do not have to worry.” The King answers tiredly, rubbing a hand down his face. “We’ve concluded that King Sooman was not killed by any of our people. At least, not to my knowledge.” 

“We have not concluded _anything_ , your highness. I find it hard to believe that you are not behind this.” 

It’s one of the advisors who is speaking, but Taeyong does not know his name. 

“Please, Advisor Kim. Why would I want to ruin something that was going to benefit me? Something that was going to benefit _both_ of us?” 

“You have always been jealous of King Sooman.” Advisor Kim abruptly stands up, finger pointing wildly around. “You are power hungry and want our land! Just admit it!” 

Taeyong’s Father huffs. 

“I promise that I had nothing to do with the untimely death of King Sooman.” 

And there’s something in his tone, in the way his eyes glint, that makes Taeyong think that his Father’s not telling the truth. 

\---

“Hyung.” Mark called as he knocked on Taeyong’s chamber door. 

“Come in.” The Crown Prince answered, lying sideways on his bed. He heard the tell tale signs of his door opening and the patter of Mark’s feet before there was a weight dipping onto his bed. He felt hands grip the back of his shirt. 

“Hyung.” Mark starts again. “Hyung, I’m scared.” 

“What are you scared of, buddy?” He keeps his voice soft, comforting. Ever since Mark was born it seems like he’s been scared of almost everything from the dark to even the court jester. The urge to protect his little brother is always there, but it sharpens whenever Taeyong sees him cry. 

“I heard Papa talking to Sir Kim before I went to bed. He sounded….angry. I’ve never heard him angry before.” 

“What was he saying?” 

“He was yelling at Sir Kim because he didn’t follow his orders. Something about what happened to King Sooman. Papa said it wasn’t supposed to happen like that.” 

Taeyong turns to face his younger brother, pulling him close to his chest. He could feel parts of his shirt soaking through with Mark’s silent tears. 

“It’s okay, Mark. It’s okay to be scared.” 

“Did Papa do that to King Sooman?” 

He had the urge to say no, to assure the younger that everything is okay. But, to be honest, Taeyong was sick and tired of running from his fears. 

“I don’t know.”

“Why would he hurt him? King Sooman is so nice!” Mark struggles to speak through his sobs. “He always snuck me chocolate chip cookies after dinner.” 

Taeyong doesn’t know how to answer. It’s one thing to point the blame to some stranger, but it’s completely different when that person is your own Father. They’ve never been close, the loss of Taeyong’s mother creating an invisible barrier between them, but he still loved his Father. The King has never raised his voice or his fist at them, always a gentle but distant figure. 

“Can I sleep here tonight, hyung?” 

“Of course, Mark.” 

For tonight, the two sleep, trying to chase away the dreams of a crown-headed figure with a daunting red-stained knife. 

===

There’s a stillness to the entire kingdom that night. The children find it hard to sleep, and the parents sit up in bed, cautious of what the eerie void can mean. Not even the owls can be heard. 

Johnny eyes the window, glares into the darkness. Something is coming.

No, he thinks. 

Something is already here. 

===

The news of the war came less than a week later. It was no surprise. The people of the kingdom speak in hushed, worried tones. Some of the men suggest that the younger boys be taught how to defend themselves and their family. The women reluctantly agreed. 

Johnny is staring out the window again. It’s bright out, but the birds aren’t chirping. The children aren’t running around screaming. The inn is quiet. 

He wonders how Taeyong is doing. He wonders if the loneliness in the air is affecting him like it’s affecting Johnny. 

There’s a knock at his door, a voice calling him to help in the inn downstairs. He gets up on autopilot, getting dressed for the day. 

As he exits the room, he looks at his nameplate. The name in tiny letters, the name that haunts his thoughts and dreams, is smudged. 

Johnny looks away. 

\---

The kingdom announces that all able-bodied men and young boys are to be fighting in the war. It causes uproar in the small towns, as to be expected, and Taeyong and Mark are sent to appease the troubled. It works for the first few towns, but as they travel deeper it gets messier. 

“You’re going to get them killed!” 

“How could you send my boy out like that?” 

“I’ll never see him again.” 

The anguished cries are enough to start Taeyong’s own tears, but he hides them well. It’s only when they get to the last village that he doesn’t think he can hold them back anymore. 

It’s Johnny’s village. The familiar faces stare at him as he enters with varying degrees of hurt and resentment. 

Jeno, the young boy who frequents the inn for extra money, is at the front. His face, usually so enthusiastic and kind, holds a fierce determination. He’s holding the hand of another boy who goes by the name Jaemin. Both are too young to participate in the war, but old enough to understand the consequences of one. 

Taeyong offers them a smile. Neither of them smile back. 

He doesn’t see Johnny in the crowd at all, and he can’t figure out whether he’s relieved or disappointed. A little bit of both, perhaps. 

Taeyong brings his horse to a stop and carefully climbs off, patting the mane of his horse to comfort it. They’ve been riding for quite a while and she’s definitely tired by now. He speaks, raising his voice to be heard over everyone. 

“Good afternoon, my dear citizens. As you know by now, our kingdom has entered into a war. It is pertinent that every able-bodied man is present for the fight.” The villagers raise their voices, angry at his words. “I know it’s asking for a lot, but we need the help to protect our kingdom. It may not be the decision everyone likes, but it is the best decision to keep the majority of the kingdom alive.” 

Staring at these faces, _knowing these people,_ makes this speech even harder than it usually is. He’s heard stories of the brave men from this village, how they would help carry bags of flour and wheat for those who couldn’t and how loud and cheerful they are in the taverns. These aren’t just citizens anymore, these are _his_ people and he’s sending them to death. 

Taeyong has to look away. 

“What about those who won’t survive?” 

The voice is all too familiar, all too heartbreaking. 

Johnny Seo breaks through the crowd. He is just as beautiful as he was the last time Taeyong saw him. 

“What about those who are forced to fight?” 

It’s only then that Taeyong really realizes what Johnny is talking about. There is a war happening, his Father started it, and Johnny will die in it. 

\---

Taeyong had dispersed the crowd as quickly as he could before dragging Johnny to a little corner by the bakery and the medical building. It’s not nearly as private as he wanted, but it would get the job done. 

“What are you doing?” Taeyong seethes, gripping tightly to Johnny’s forearm. “You’re causing panic, who knows what they might do now?” 

“They’ll fight. Not for the kingdom, not for you, but for themselves. For their sons and their fathers.” 

Taeyong doesn’t know what to say to this. His grip loosens to the point that he is just holding Johnny’s sleeve. 

“I don’t want these people to fight. I don’t want _you_ to fight.” He can’t look Johnny in the eye, can’t look at the man who broke his heart and tell him how much he still loves him. 

He feels a hand grab his own, encompassing his own. 

“Let me show you something.” 

\---

There’s something so intimately real about someone's room. It’s their whole life shoved into one space, small or big. Johnny’s room was more than that, though. Similar to how Johnny himself is just simply _more_ than anything else. 

Taeyong sits on an old wooden chair in the center of Johnny’s room, feeling out of place in a room that once felt like home. Johnny is sitting on his bed. Taeyong had explained the situation to Mark and the guards, keeping it as vague as possible. As far as they know, Johnny is just showing Taeyong the area as a good citizen should. 

Now the two are alone upstairs with a thousand things to talk about. The atmosphere is tense and it throws Taeyong off balance. He’s never been tense with Johnny. 

“Taeyong.” Johnny starts, hesitant. “Do you remember the first night we kissed?” 

It’s such a sudden question that all Taeyong can do is blink. 

“Of course I do.” He says eventually, small and reminiscent. “It was a month after we met. You brought me down to the garden behind the inn. You tucked a white rose behind my ear.” 

It’s a fond memory, one of Taeyong’s favorites. The garden was beautiful, full of flowers of every color and size imaginable. Johnny had explained what every flower was, how he helped grow them, what they meant. They had stopped at the roses, a dizzying array of colors that were as equally beautiful as the last. 

_“I’m fond of this one.”_ Johnny had said, picking a white rose and tucking it gently behind Taeyong’s ear. 

_“What does it mean?”_

Johnny had just smiled. 

“I didn’t plan on kissing you that day. I didn’t plan on kissing you at all, really. I thought we would never work out.” 

Johnny sighs, running a hand through his hair. 

“But there was something about the sun in your hair, something about the way your eyes sparkled. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. _You_ are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.” 

“What are you trying to say, Johnny?” Taeyong asks instead of letting Johnny see his tears. It’s one thing to hear how beautiful you are from strangers and another to hear it from the one you love the most. 

“What I said to you last time...I didn’t mean it. And I know that this doesn’t make it better, and I know you probably hate me, but I had to tell you. I had to tell you that I still love you. That I never stopped loving you.” Johnny is kneeling next to Taeyong now, carefully taking one of Taeyong’s hands into his own. Taeyong lets him. 

“Then why did you say it?” Taeyong hates how his voice wavers. Hates how he’s always so vulnerable with Johnny. He feels his hand get squeezed. 

“I got scared. I...I’m a coward. I got stuck in my head again. You deserve more than what I can give you.” 

It is such a vulnerable moment between them, something so personal that Taeyong feels his throat get clogged and his eyes watering. 

“Don’t say that, Johnny.” Taeyong whispers, interlacing his fingers with the other. “You give me exactly what I need. You give me _you_.”

Johnny smiles, a blinding thing, really, and Taeyong smiles back. 

The older, as if remembering something, jumped up suddenly. He turned to his desk and rummaged around in the drawers, coming back with an envelope. He handed it to Taeyong. 

“I wrote this for you, in case we never saw each other again. I was going to have my Mother send it to you in case I never came back from the war, but I rather give it to you in person.” 

Johnny grasps the hand that is holding the envelope, smiling sadly. 

“Promise me you will not open it until I come back.” He pauses, searching for the right words. “Or...if I do not.” 

The tears blur Taeyong’s vision, the grim reality sinking in. He feels the tears turn into sobs. Johnny shushes gently with warm hands and soft kisses. 

“I love you.” Taeyong bawls, a wretched sound that claws through his throat and out of his mouth. 

“I love you, too.” Johnny weeps. 

They’re not okay, not really. And they might never be. 

\---

A year later, the war is over. There is no winner. Only those that lived or those who didn’t. 

Taeyong’s Father was found guilty of murdering King Sooman and hung in front of his people, and Taeyong was soon made King. The people cheered for him, singing praises about his kindness and bravery. He was young, inexperienced, but he made up for it by taking suggestions from his people. Their kingdom prospered and grew, the people were healthy and the children were happy. It was almost all Taeyong had ever wanted. 

The only thing he is missing is the person who was supposed to rule beside him. 

The night the war ended, before his Father was hanged, Taeyong sought out Johnny. He was in the 127th formation closest to the border. Taeyong had heard that they had made it back to the capital, but he has no idea who survived and who didn’t. 

It was chaos as the soldiers returned, families either rejoicing or grieving. He wonders which one he will be. 

He caught sight of Mrs. Seo and hurried over. 

“Mrs. Seo! Have you seen him yet?” He questioned, out of breath. She shook her head, and Taeyong took a second to recognize that she was not simply answering his question. 

Cradled in her shaking hands, cracked but whole, was a pair of dog tags. 

He denied it, at first. There was another Johnny Seo, there had to be. It certainly was not _his_ Johnny Seo. 

Next came anger, an ugly thing that came roaring out of him. 

“You are lying! Is this some kind of joke?’ He had ripped the dog tags out of Mrs. Seo’s hands. “These are fake!” 

Taeyong fell on his knees oblivious to the stares of those around him. His mind pounded in his skull. He squeezed the dog tags before looking up to the sky, begging for God to return the love of his life. 

“Please, please! He is all I have! You can’t take him, not now! Bring him back!” 

He’s gasping now, crying so hard that he’s not even making any sounds anymore. He feels arms wrap around his shoulder, a familiar warmth. 

“Let it out, my child.” Mrs. Seo whispers, cradling his head. Taeyong grips on to her for dear life, reaching out for the warmth that reminds him so much of Johnny. 

When Taeyong had returned to his room that night, he was exhausted to the core. It was like even his soul had become nothing. But he knew, he _knew,_ he had to do what Johnny had asked of him. 

The envelope had been under his pillow this whole time and he cradles it fondly. There’s nothing on the outside, just a simple red stamp. He opens it gently.

Taeyong rubs the parchment gently with his thumb, thinking of Johnny sitting at his desk writing this. It brings a smile to his face. 

_My little rose,_ it starts. The back of his nose burns and his lip wobbles. He’ll never hear Johnny call him that again. 

_Do you remember the first time we met? I think it might be my favorite memory._

It was one of Taeyong’s favorite memories too. It was just a casual visit to the nearest villages, to check up on the citizens. They met by chance, a casual greeting but it stuck with both of them. 

_I was picking up fruits for the inn, and I saw you greet a few children with a smile. I had thought “Is this what Aphrodite is supposed to look like?” Silly, I know. You had looked up at me then, all bright eyes and glowing skin, and I fell in love._

Taeyong giggles wetly. Even in a letter, Johnny is still so charming. 

_I’m sorry, love. If you’re reading this letter, then it seems like I have moved on. I’m sorry I couldn’t stay with you. There a million things I wanted to do with you by my side, a million things I wanted to say._

_There’s only one thing I want to say now._

_I love you. I always did, and I always will._

Taeyong sobs into his hand, gripping the paper with his other. There are tear stains on the letter, old and new. 

_Did you know, when I was a child, my dream was to be a bounty hunter. I thought they were cool and heroic, and I wanted to be that. It was just a childish dream, though. I have a new_

_You are my new dream, Lee Taeyong. You are everything I have always wanted and everything I could ever need. I have no doubts that we will meet again, whether it be in the stars or in the next life._

_Promise me you won’t give up, my love. Promise me you will rule the kingdom with a fair and just hand as you have always wanted to. Listen to the people and understand them._

_Take care of my Mother, please. She has lost too much already; don’t let her lose you too._

_I love you so much, my little rose. Until we meet again._

_Yours forever, Johnny._

Taeyong drops the letter on to his lap and bawls freely into his hands. There’s a tightness in his chest that hurts with each breath he takes but he doesn’t care. Losing the love of your life is like losing a part of yourself and Taeyong is now feeling the effects. 

“Why?” He wails, voice breaking. “Why him?” 

He doesn’t know how long he spends like that, chest heavy and head hurting. His eyes and nose are bright red from all the crying. 

He grabs the letter again to read it again only to notice something written on the back. 

_By the way, would white roses work for our wedding?_

And it is such an incredulous question, something so out of the blue. Taeyong feels the tears again, but he is not scared of them this time. Sadness isn’t something to be afraid of. His tears don’t just symbolize Johnny’s death, but they are a celebration of all the happiness his life had. 

Taeyong will live for Johnny, and he will live for himself. 

Fifty years later, Taeyong dies as an old king. He never married, never had children. Mark’s children are the heirs to the throne, and Taeyong teaches them to be fair and humble. 

Taeyong dies a proud king and uncle. He dies knowing that soon he will be reunited once again with his soulmate, his forever love. 

Taeyong dies with a smile on his face. 

Thousands of years later, in the year 2020, Lee Taeyong meets Johnny Seo for the first time again. 


	2. dont let me go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!! sorry this is like extremely late i am just very bad at keeping up to date with writing :(  
> this fic is my baby. the longest one i have written by far, and i am extremely proud of all of it! so please leave comments about what you think !  
> thank you!  
> i might write a little epilogue some time in the future as well!  
> twt: niniibaek

If you asked Taeyong what he expected to get out of college, he could tell you in one easy list:

1\. Life long friends (maybe)

2\. A degree (hopefully)

3\. Freedom (definitely)

And, most recently: 

4\. The cutest boy Taeyong has ever seen (like, _ever_ )

It all started on his way to his last class of the day, a week after he started attending his new college. Taeyong has already gotten used to his regular schedule, waking up for his eight a.m class and somehow making it to his last class with his brain still intact. The other students rarely stare at him anymore and he’s secretly glad that they moved on from him rather quickly. He hates being the center of attention. 

Granted, the incident was half Taeyong’s fault as well as the cute boy’s. He was on the phone looking at a text from his younger brother when a solid weight had slammed into him from the back. Taeyong flew forward, hands flying out to catch himself before he face planted, but he was stopped by an arm wrapping around his waist, steadying him. 

The arm wrapped all the way around his waist, the grip so strong Taeyong could see the veins coming to life beneath the smooth skin. 

“I’m so sorry! You okay?” The owner of the arm apologized, letting go of Taeyong and turning him around. “Are you hurt?” 

“Um….no?” Taeyong stuttered, awestruck by what he saw. This boy was like a greek god brought to life, a marble statue carved by only the finest sculptors. 

“Are you asking or answering?” The boy chuckles heartily. Taeyong blushes and hopes the hot sun is enough to blame for it. 

“Answering.” 

“I’m glad for that. Wouldn’t want to hurt your pretty face, now would we?” And it took a moment for Taeyong to realize that _oh, he’s flirting with me_. 

“Um…” The younger boy stutters, the red of his cheeks going darker and spreading downwards. The boy smiles at him, a charming thing. 

“I’m Johnny.” He introduces himself, saving Taeyong from his own embarrassment. 

“Taeyong.” He says back, biting his lip. Johnny’s eyes flick down and then back up again. The look in his eyes sends a wave of tingles through Taeyong’s body. 

“I’m late for class!” He shouts suddenly, confused and way too flustered to even think properly. Taeyong hears Johnny shout after him, but he doesn’t look back. 

He ended up being ten minutes early to class. 

\---

“You really ran away from him?” Doyoung asked, trying to hold in his laughter. 

Taeyong had invited his roommate to have dinner with him at their cafeteria, thinking it would be nice to have some bonding time. What he wasn’t expecting was Doyoung making fun of him for his little run in earlier in the morning. 

“I didn’t mean to!” Taeyong protested, hiding his burning face in his hands. Doyoung laughed even harder. 

“What did you say his name was?” Doyoung asked after he had calmed down. His face was still red from all the laughing.

“Johnny, I think?” 

“Like, from NCT Night Night?” 

“From what?” 

Doyoung sighed. 

“I forget you’re new here sometimes. It’s the school’s radio show, hosted by Johnny and Jaehyun. It’s actually pretty cool, they play music and answer questions that students send in.” 

“You know them?” Taeyong asked. Doyoung shrugged, going back to picking at his fries. 

“Everyone does. They’re, like, some of the most popular students.” 

“Oh.” 

Of course Johnny was popular. With that kind of face, it would be impossible to not be. Taeyong thinks about all the popular kids back at his highschool and fights the urge to cringe. They all had a superiority complex bigger than the sun itself. He wonders if Johnny is the same way. It seems unlikely since he was kind to Taeyong earlier, but you never know. 

“Oh, look, there’s Jaehyun.” Doyoung suddenly speaks. He’s pointing to a table not too far from their own, where a handsome boy with dimples is talking to his friends. 

“Who’s he talking to?” 

“Yuta, a transfer student from Japan. They’re pretty close.” 

Taeyong watches as Yuta wipes something off of Jaehyun’s lips and turns back to Doyoung. 

“Yeah, pretty close.” He puts air quotes around the last two words, adding an eye roll to enunciate his point even further. Doyoung makes a face at him. 

“Anyways, are you going to talk to him at all?” 

“Jaehyun?” 

“No, idiot. Johnny.” 

“Of course not. My plan is to avoid him at any cost necessary and hope he never talks to me again.” Doyoung bit back a laugh at Taeyong’s words. 

“Well, I think that plan is already going to shit.” At Taeyong’s confused expression, Doyoung gestures to someone behind him with a nod. “Here comes Romeo himself.” 

Taeyong sneaks a glance behind himself to see Johnny walking their way, briefly stopping at Jaehyun’s table to put his tray down. 

“This is _insane_. He is insane. We talked once and suddenly that’s an invitation to become friends?” Taeyong whispers through gritted teeth. He is a little overwhelmed with this all, not having the energy to converse with such a good looking boy. Doyoung, the traitor that he is, just laughs at Taeyong’s misery. 

“Hey, Taeyong right?” A familiar voice calls out from behind him. He squeezes his eyes shut, takes a deep breath, and turns around to face the older boy.

“Hey!” Taeyong greets with more enthusiasm than he intended to. “That’s me.” 

Doyoung snorts behind him but swiftly covers it up with a cough, drawing Johnny’s attention to him. 

“Oh, hey Doyoung. I didn’t know that you knew Taeyong.” 

It’s unfair how good Johnny looks even in the harsh cafeteria lights, and Taeyong finds that he can barely look away. 

“I told you I had a new roommate last week, but you told me, and I quote, _why would I have to remember their name when they won’t even last a week with you?_ ” Doyoung squints. “It was rather rude, actually.” 

Johnny, for what it’s worth, actually looks ashamed, rubbing the back of his neck with a sheepish smile on his face. Taeyong tries to not look at his biceps. He fails. 

“Sorry, Doie. You know I don’t mean it!” Johnny looks back at Taeyong, winking. “Plus, now I have a reason to remember his name.” 

Taeyong stuttered, brain going haywire. 

“Can you maybe not make my roommate have a stroke? I need him to help pay for our dorm.” 

“Is that all I am to you? And here I thought we had something special!” Taeyong whined, looking at his roommate, missing Johnny giving him a fond smile. 

“Anyways! I came by to ask you something, Taeyong.” The taller boy interrupted. He seemed nervous, and Taeyong found it oddly endearing. “I don’t know if you know, but me and my friend Jaehyun run the campus radio and I wanted to know if you’d be willing to tune in tonight? You don’t have to if you’re busy!” 

“NCT Night Night, right? I’d love to listen.” Taeyong smiled warmly. The tips of Johnny’s ears turn a bright pink. 

“Cool! Um, I’ll see you then! Or, you’ll see me then! I mean, you’ll hear me, I guess. Bye!” 

Taeyong watched him go with a shy giggle, turning back in his seat to come face to face with a smirking Doyoung. 

“Oh, shut up. We all know second impressions mean more than the first, anyways.” 

\---

NCT Night Night was hosted every night at 10 pm to midnight, the perfect time for night owls who prefer staying up late into the night. Taeyong, however, is not that type of person. It’s not even 10 yet and he’s rubbing the sleep away from his eyes. 

The thing is that Taeyong _loves_ mornings. He loves waking up to watch the sun rise, he loves not having to rush to class, he loves being able to actually have breakfast. Which is exactly why it’s so hard to stay awake and pay attention to the radio. 

“ _Hello, welcome to NCT Night Night.”_ A deep voice that Taeyong doesn’t recognize starts, close to the microphone as if he’s doing ASMR. If the whole show is like this, Taeyong will most definitely fall asleep. 

“ _I’m your host, Jae-D!”_

_“And I’m the better host, John-D.”_

Taeyong recognizes the second voice immediately, smiling unconsciously at the thought of Johnny. 

“It’s been one day, Taeyong. Get a hold of yourself.” He tells himself, shaking his head to get rid of the smile. 

“ _Today was a very special day, wasn’t it John-D?”_ Jaehyun asks teasingly, and Johnny’s mocking laugh was extremely noticeable. 

“ _Haha, yeah. As special as any Monday can get, I guess. Before we start our questions for today, I’d like to start off with a song! It’s kinda meant for someone who I hope is listening, because otherwise this would be really awkward.”_ Johnny laughs nervously, making Taeyong smile. 

“ _This is_ Instant Crush _by_ Daft Punk and Julian Casablancas! _Hope you enjoy it!”_

The song is unfamiliar to him, but Taeyong will admit that he enjoys it. It’s the title that sticks out the most to him, though. 

_Instant Crush_. Taeyong has a feeling that Johnny played this song for him. Taeyong _hopes_ that Johnny played this song for him. 

“ _I got this picture of us kissin’ in my head.”_ The lyrics sing, and he can’t help but picture it in his head too. Johnny’s hands on his waist, his body covering Taeyong’s, his lips painting a picture on every inch of skin it can find. 

Taeyong shakes the image from his head before his body temperature reaches critical max, screaming into his pillow. 

Instant crush sounds about right. 

\---

Luckily, Taeyong doesn’t run into Johnny at all for two whole days. The younger is perfectly fine just hearing Johnny’s voice through his speakers, thank you very much. Unfortunately, the universe doesn’t share the same sentiment. The universe actually seemed pretty hell bent on making the two meet again, as Taeyong is currently staring at Johnny in his own dorm room, sitting on Doyoung’s bed and playing on his switch with Jaehyun. 

“Uh, hey? What are you doing here?” Taeyong speaks, walking in finally and taking his backpack off. 

“Doyoung invited us.” Jaehyun answers simply. 

“And where is Doyoung?” 

“In the bathroom, I think?’ 

“You think?” 

“I wasn’t really listening. I was too busy kicking Johnny’s ass in animal crossing.” 

“How can you beat someone’s ass in animal crossing?” Taeyong questioned. Jaehyun was about to respond when Johnny shot up from his spot on the bed, proudly showing his screen to the other two. 

“HA! Beat that, Jaehyun.” He said smugly. Displayed on the screen was an entire field of roses ranging in all the colors. If you zoomed out, the roses would form the shape of a heart. 

“Damn it! How did you even get that many roses in a day?” Jaehyun muttered angrily, fingers moving fast on his switch controls. 

“Do you play animal crossing, Taeyong?” Johnny asked him, noticing him staring longingly at all the roses on the screen. 

“Oh! Um, yeah, I do.” He said, bringing his pink switch over from it’s charging spot on his desk. “Do you wanna be friends?” 

Johnny’s answering smile was blinding. 

“Of course! What’s your code?” 

After they exchanged codes and accepted each other as friends, Johnny asked to head over to Taeyong’s island, which led to Taeyong joining the other two on Doyoung’s bed. Jaehyun was still busy rearranging his flowers to form a bigger picture, staring intently at his screen. 

“Don’t stare too closely at the screen, Jaehyun. It could hurt your eyes.” Taeyong said gently, making Jaehyun pout but still move the screen further away from his eyes. 

“You’re just like Doyoung.” He says. Taeyong tries not to be offended. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Doyoung nags Jaehyun the exact same way.” Johnny replied with a breathy laugh. “Like a mother hen.” 

Taeyong pouts at him, turning his switch screen away from Johnny’s eyes. 

“You’re not allowed to come to my island anymore!” 

Johnny spluttered in shock, reaching for Taeyong’s switch in a flash. 

“No! I want to see your island!” 

The two struggled for control of Taeyong’s switch, oblivious to the new presence entering the room and Jaehyun moving to sit on Taeyong’s bed instead. 

“Uh..what are you doing?” 

The sudden voice startles the two so badly that they fall off the bed, having been precariously seated on the edge of the bed this whole time. This position is even more scandalous than the first, with Taeyong falling on top of the older. Right into his lap. 

Johnny’s hand is wrapped around one of his wrists, the other around his waist as a way to protect him from the short fall. Taeyong is clutching Johnny’s shirt in his hands, the switch fallen silently beside them. 

“Ahem.” Doyoung coughs, breaking up the moment that was sure to happen between the two. 

They scrambled off of each other, standing up to greet Doyoung. 

“Hey!” Taeyong started, voice breaking. 

“What’s up, Doyoung?” Johnny continued, hands behind his back and an innocent smile on his face. 

“I don’t even want to know.” The boy responded, moving to wheel his desk chair around and sitting down on it with a huff. “Don’t you two have somewhere to be?” 

Johnny looked at his watch (an expensive looking thing that Taeyong’s eyes were drawn to), biting out a curse as he hurried to gather his things. 

“Jaehyun! Get up, we’re gonna be late.” 

The two boys scrambled to get their things together, shouting a quick goodbye to the other two boys in the room. Taeyong let out a fond smile as he watched them go. 

“He’s got you whipped already.” Doyoung teased playfully. Taeyong shoved him into the dresser. 

\---

Taeyong and Johnny grew closer as the months went on. By the time winter break came, it was practically impossible to see one without the other. Even now, in the dead of the night, the two were cooped up in the broadcast room. 

“What’s on the air tonight?” Taeyong asked from his spot in the corner, sitting on the plush couch used for guests. There was a jacket thrown over his legs that Johnny recognized as one of his own. He tried to ignore the way his heart lurched at the sight. 

“The regular. Jaehyun and I are going to read some stories sent in by students and play some music.” Johnny was busy fixing his microphone, adjusting it so it was higher. 

“Can I stay?” 

“Stay? To, like, watch?” 

“Yeah, if that’s okay with you?” Johnny noticed how shy Taeyong got, fingers playing with the zipper of Johnny’s jacket and voice small. It took the breath out of his lungs to see how adorable the younger was being. 

“Yeah. That’s alright with me.” He answered gently, bringing a small smile to Taeyong’s face. Johnny thought that even if he lived a hundred lives, his favorite part of every single one would be seeing Taeyong’s smile. 

\---

NCT Night Night went on as it regularly did, save for the moments where Johnny got distracted by the lovely rose and vanilla perfume that wafted through the tiny room. 

“ _And for our final song of the night, I’d like to dedicate this to a special someone. We’ve become closer to each other in the past months, and I just want to let you know how much you really mean to me. This is_ Love Someone _by_ Lukas Graham.” 

Johnny took off his headphones once the song started playing, looking up to meet the round eyes of Taeyong staring back at him. 

_'Cause you still look perfect as days go by_

_Even the worst ones, you make me smile_

_I'd stop the world if it gave us time._

Taeyong smiled sweetly at him, and Johnny felt like every breath he took was filled with Taeyong. It’s been months and he is still irrevocably in love with him. 

_When you say_

_You love the way I make you feel_

_Everything becomes so real_

_Don't be scared, no, don't be scared_

_'Cause you're all I need._

And when Taeyong looked back at him with sparkly eyes and rosy cheeks, Johnny thinks that Taeyong might actually be in love with him too. 

\---

Johnny thinks he spoke too soon. Two days later, and Taeyong is still avoiding him. It’s confusing, really, because Johnny thought they really had a chance to become something more. 

“It seemed like he was into me, you know?” Johnny whined to Jaehyun, the two boys seated in a corner table in the cafeteria. The rain hit the glass window softly, a soothing sound. Thunder rumbled not too far away. 

“Maybe he is?” Jaehyun said, sticking a ketchup-dipped french fry into his mouth. 

“Then what’s with the hide-and-seek? It’s like he’s purposefully ignoring me. He doesn’t even come to my island on Animal Crossing anymore.” 

Jaehyun snorted, tossing another fry into his mouth. Johnny wrinkled his nose at the unnecessary chewing. 

“Have you thought about _why_ he’s ignoring you?” 

“Wow. Why didn’t I think of that?” Johnny deadpanned. 

“Fuck off, idiot. I mean, you probably did something to make him feel awkward. You both have been playing cat and mouse for months now, he probably wasn’t expecting you to do that on a live broadcast.” 

Even if he hated to admit it, Jaehyun did have a point. Johnny thought it would be romantic and all to confess on his radio show. He thought that it would prove how much he liked Taeyong. Looking back on it now, though, it was kind of impersonal. Taeyong is the type of boy that deserves a personal and heartfelt, _true_ , confession. And Johnny was going to give it to him. 

“I don’t like that look in your eye.” 

“Jaehyun, my man. You got a guitar?” 

\---

“You know, this wasn’t really what I had in mind.” 

“Well, I didn’t know you would be so uptight about it.”

“I’m not uptight. I’m just realistic.”

“You mean idiotic. How the fuck do you even know Mark anyways?”

“Don’t worry about it!”

“Uh, guys? Do you need my help or not?” 

Johnny and Jaehyun broke apart from their little quarrel to turn to Mark, Taeyong’s little brother, and a blue-haired boy who flashed them a dazzling smile. 

“I’m Jaemin,” He greeted quietly. “Mark’s boyfriend.”

“Yeah, hi Jaemin. Nice to meet you. Um, so you know how to play the guitar, yeah?” Johnny directed at Mark. The younger nodded, pointing towards the guitar case leaning up against the cafe table. 

“Acoustic. Are you looking to learn?” 

“Um..no? I kind of need someone to play the guitar while I confess to someone.” 

“Aw!” Jaemin cooed, hand wrapping itself around Mark’s bicep. “That’s so romantic! I wish Mark did something like that for me.” 

“Hey! I took you out on a picnic and made your favorite foods! That was pretty romantic.” Mark pouted, causing Jaemin to reach over and pinch his cheek. 

“Yeah, but we all know your cooking isn’t the greatest, babe.” Jaemin kissed the pinched cheek. “I still love you, though.” 

“Do you think you can do it?” Johnny interrupted. 

“Sure. Who’s the lucky someone?” Mark asked, wiggling his eyebrows to be dramatic. 

Johnny paused, shooting a panicked look at Jaehyun. How was he going to explain that he wanted to confess his undying love to Mark’s older brother? 

“It’s Taeyong.” Jaehyun answered for him, as if it was the most casual thing to do. Johnny tried his best to push away the thoughts of the different ways he could murder Jung Jaehyun. 

“Oh. Really?” Mark asked, nose scrunched in confusion, “Dude, he’s been pining over you for _months._ You don’t need to plan out this big confession. He’ll probably say yes even if you asked him in some dirty gas station bathroom.”

“Which you absolutely will _not_ do! Taeyong-hyung deserves a romantic night.” Jaemin said, pointing a finger at Mark. “And _you_ are going to help make it happen!” 

Johnny didn’t know what kind of power Jaemin had over Mark, but the way he caved immediately made Jaemin seem like some sort of god. Johnny makes a note to never look the younger boy in the eyes. 

“Do you have a song in mind?” Mark brought Johnny’s attention back to him. He noticed the way Mark absentmindedly played with Jaemin’s fingers. 

“I do, actually. And I think he’ll like it.”

\---

After weeks, and _constant_ teasing from Mark, Johnny was finally ready. Mark learned the song easily, fingers moving like they were supposed to be playing the guitar. Johnny has grown fond of Mark in the short time they’ve been working together, even to the point that Johnny thinks of him like a little brother. Johnny supposes he really would be if this thing with Taeyong works out. 

Fortunately, Taeyong still seems to be avoiding him. Johnny doesn’t think he’d be able to keep quiet about his plan, with those sparkling big eyes looking up at him. It would have been a disaster. 

Doyoung has been telling Jaehyun, who has been telling Johnny, how Taeyong has been doing nothing but mope in his dorm. Mark says that whenever the older comes home, he sulks in his bedroom. Johnny thinks it's unbearably endearing, and maybe a little sad. 

“Do you think he’ll like it?” Johnny asked at their last practice, Mark and Jaemin tidying up the room before they had to leave. 

“How many times do I have to say it?” Mark groaned, “Hyung is a sucker for this kind of thing. He’s a romantic.”

“He once yelled at Mark for twenty minutes because he didn’t bring me flowers on our first date.” Jaemin chimed in, giggling at the memory. 

“Oh no. Fuck. _Flowers._ I don’t know what kind of flowers he likes, oh my god.” Johnny panicked, starting to pace back and forth in the small room. 

“Roses. He loves roses, especially white ones. They’ve been his favorite flowers since, like, forever.”

Roses, Johnny can do roses. He’ll get Taeyong the biggest bouquet of roses he’s ever seen. 

“Okay. Okay, tomorrow I’ll get roses while you get him to the spot. Sounds good?” 

“We got it, Johnny-hyung!” Jaemin said, shooting him a bright smile and two thumbs up. Mark nodded at him. 

“We’ll get him there.”

\---

Taeyong was quite honestly very confused. 

His little brother and Jaemin woke him up at nearly nine a.m., way too early to be a functioning adult, and Taeyong doesn’t know what got into them. 

“I see you guys everyday.” Taeyong whined, snuggling further into the sheets. The sun shining through his open window shined obnoxiously in his eyes, so he pulled the blanket over his head. 

“Hyung!” Jaemin whined, trying to pry the blanket from Taeyong’s grip. “I want to hang out with you.”

Taeyong groaned, knowing he’s going to give in. He can’t ever say no to Jaemin’s puppy eyes and killer pout. 

“What are we even going to do this early?” 

“We could watch a movie? Or, maybe we could go to the park?” Mark trails off. Taeyong peeks at him from underneath the blanket, noticing the way the younger boy darts his eyes around the room. Jaemin digs his elbow into Mark’s side. 

Taeyong narrows his eyes at the two, wondering what they could be up to. Mark is too obvious when he’s hiding something. 

“What do you two really want?” The older man asks, sitting up in bed and pursing his lips. Jaemin gulps. 

“Ah, hyung, we just want to hang out with you. Honestly!” Jaemin, for what it’s worth, is a better liar than Mark, who is still fidgeting on the side. Taeyong sighs. 

“Alright, alright. Just let me get dressed.” He announces, rolling his eyes as Jaemin gives a little cheer. The youngest grabs Mark by the hand and pulls him out of the room, shooting a thankful smile back at Taeyong. 

He doesn’t really know what the two boys want, what they _really_ want, but he’s generous enough to indulge them. Besides, he genuinely loves hanging out with the younger two. Mark and Jaemin play off each other really well, and Taeyong enjoys seeing how red his little brother gets when Jaemin so much as smiles at him. 

Taeyong went casual with his outfit, a simple white shirt paired with his care bear printed pants. Just going to the movies or out to the park didn’t really mean he had to dress up at all, so he was fine going like this. 

When Taeyong walked out of his room, he was greeted to the sight of the two younger boys huddled by the door, Mark peering over Jaemin’s shoulder to look at his phone. Their faces were scrunched the same way, which Taeyong admitted looked adorable. He sneaked up as quietly as he could behind them, trying to sneak a peek at whatever they were staring at so intently. All he saw was a glimpse of a text conversation before Jaemin squeaked, hiding the phone in his chest. 

“What are you hiding?” Taeyong questioned, eyes narrowed in what he hopes is an intimidating manner. By the way Jaemin shuffled further behind Mark, he thinks it works. 

“Nothing! We should get going now, though. Like, right now.”

And with a crooked smile, Jaemin grabs both Taeyong’s and Mark’s hand, dragging them out the front door and down the steps. 

“Okay, okay. Jeez, where’s the fire?” The oldest murmurs, wondering what in the hell has these two so nervous. While the two are rather sweet and kind, they have a mischief streak that runs Taeyong’s blood pressure to the roof. Add Donghyuck or Chenle and Jisung and it only gets messier. Literally. Chenle and Jisung aren’t allowed in the kitchen anymore due to the Christmas Incident that makes Taeyong shiver to this day. So much gravy. So much. 

It took Taeyong a moment to realize that Jaemin was no longer holding his hand, and he looked up to see that they’ve entered the park already. Well, he’s entered the park at least. No matter how much he looks, he can’t see the other two anywhere. 

“Mark? Jaemin?” He calls, hoping it’s just a silly prank. Even though the two are grown, Mark is a senior in highschool, and can take care of themselves, Taeyong will always feel a sense of responsibility for the two. Mark is his little brother, and he’s seen Jaemin since he was a little boy. 

“Lee Taeyong!” A sudden shout from the opposite side of the clearing scares Taeyong, a yelp escaping his lips. He swivels wildly, stopping when he sees a pair of waving arms. He squints, trying to make the figure out. He’s big and loud, and walking towards him with a giant grin on his face. Taeyong feels his cheeks burn as he makes out that it's Johnny Seo, the boy who confessed on live radio. The boy that Taeyong left hanging. 

Behind the towering boy is Mark, a guitar strapped around his shoulder, and Jaemin with his camera in hand. Both have gigantic matching smiles on their faces. 

Johnny jogs to a stop in front of him, charming in all the right places. Taeyong tries not to stare at the sweat building at his temples. There’s a bouquet of white roses in his hands. 

“Hi, Johnny.” Taeyong greets, eyes darting all around. He doesn’t think he can ever look Johnny in the eye after ignoring him for such a long time. 

“Hey, Taeyong. Thanks for coming.” And Johnny is just so _Johnny,_ so comfortable and relaxing and everything that Taeyong wants in his life. 

“Um. Those two just dragged me here, I don’t really know what’s going on….” He trails off, shooting daggers at the younger two as they giggle behind Johnny’s back. He’s _so_ gonna get them back later for this. 

“Just...just stay there, okay? Sit down if you want to. And, um, here. Take these.” 

Johnny handed over the white roses, surrounded by a stunning sky blue wrapping paper. 

Taeyong noticed the bench behind him, deep metallic black and sturdy. He sat gingerly on the bench, watching as Johnny whispered something to Mark. His little brother nodded, tuning his guitar. He wondered where Mark and Johnny even met, and what in the world they were doing here, together. 

There was a weight next to him, and he turned to see Jaemin’s lovely smiling face. 

“Hey, hyung. All you have to do is sit here prettily and listen, okay?”

“How do you guys know Johnny?” 

“No talking! Just listen!” The younger boy winked, “The show is starting now.” 

The first thing he hears is a deep voice, rushing smooth over him, and the first few guitar chords. And then he looks back to Johnny, where the elder is holding a microphone to his lips and staring right back at Taeyong. 

_“I’ll be the one, that stays till the end.”_

He’s so _stupid._ He’s stupid, and scared, and such a coward. 

_“And I’ll be the one that needs you again.”_

He was scared to fall in love. 

Johnny stumbles over the next line, not quite at the stage where he wants to _propose_ , but who knows. Maybe one day. 

_“And truly loves you long after our curtain closes.”_

Taeyong thinks about all his failed relationships, all the times he gave his all and was given nothing in return. It gave him a scar, a mental reminder that maybe there was no one out there that would want to hold him, that there wasn’t anyone out there who would wipe his tears and play with his hair. Someone to love him for _him._

_“But will you still love me, when nobody wants me around?”_

And, _oh._ Taeyong gets it now. He understands now why Johnny only spoke his true feelings through his music playlist, why he looked right at Taeyong when he played that song in the studio. Johnny was scared too. 

_“When I turn 81 and forget things, will you still be proud?”_

There was a crowd forming around them now, some filming and most with big smiles on their faces. Mark is smiling too, the big one that makes his nose scrunches, and Taeyong thinks if this is what love feels like then it’s nothing like he expected and everything he’s ever wanted.

_“Cause I am the one who has waited this long, and I am the one who might get it wrong.”_

Johnny moves closer now, taking one of Taeyong’s hands in his own (and how perfectly they fit, like two puzzle pieces finding their match). Johnny’s eyes this close, in the warm sunlight, spray specks of gold over his eyelashes. Taeyong is nothing short of mesmerised. 

_“And I’ll be the one that will love you the way I’m supposed to.”_

Johnny’s voice rings in his ears, that last note reverberating in his head. He can faintly hear the last notes on Mark’s guitar fade out, and can barely make out the shutter of Jaemin’s camera. All he can see, all he can feel, is the captivating figure of Johnny Seo. 

“Taeyong. Lee Taeyong. You are the most exquisite person I have _ever_ met. You’re so creative, so smart, so brave, and so beautiful.” The older boy’s voice wavers, eyes searching for something in Taeyong’s own. He’s not sure what. 

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable back on the radio. Or even here, shit, I didn’t think this one through.” 

And Taeyong can’t help but burst into laughter. He’s so stupid, Johnny’s stupid, they’re both so _stupid._ It was staring them right in the face and they both turned away. 

“Johnny.” Taeyong starts, lacing his fingers with Johnny’s, “I like you.” 

Johnny looks dumbfounded, eyes wide. Taeyong giggles again. 

“Wait, you do?” 

“Yes! I’m sorry, too, you know. For making it seem like I didn’t. I was just, well. Nervous.” 

“Me too.” Johnny agrees, “I was scared shitless. I thought I would just do all this so I didn’t have to stew in my own feelings. I didn’t really expect you to like me back.” 

“Well, I do. A lot.” 

They share a nervous smile, hands still bound together. 

“Dude.” Mark whispers. He’s sitting next to Jaemin on the bench now, the younger boy’s arm looped through his. “This is where you kiss him.” 

“Wow. Getting relationship advice from my little brother now?” 

“Oh, shut up.” Johnny says, and then he’s so close Taeyong can feel his breath on his lips. 

His hands are on Taeyong’s face now, thumb running up and down his cheekbones. Taeyong holds his wrists tight. 

“Kiss me.” 

It’s not a crash of lips, not a thousand fireworks going off, but Taeyong thinks it feels a bit like love and a lot like home. 

And if Jaemin privately sent him pictures of the first kiss, and if Taeyong set it as his phone background, then no one else needs to know but them. 

\---

“No, it needs to be set at a 90 degree angle!” Doyoung exclaims, ushering the waiter away as he fixes the utensils himself. 

“Doyoung, babe, calm down.” Jaehyun whispers, rubbing a hand on Doyoung’s back. 

“It’s a _wedding,_ Jaehyun. It can’t be half-assed.” 

Jaehyun has no idea why Doyoung volunteered himself to plan Taeyong and Johnny’s wedding. Maybe it’s the secret masochist in him. Whatever the reason, Jaehyun is at least glad that it’s certainly a wedding for the fairytale that is Taeyong and Johnny. 

It’s been five years since that day in the park, when the two let themselves fall in love. 

Their relationship grew over the years, their love for each other getting stronger and stronger each day they spend together. Jaehyun thinks fondly of those nights that the two would spend playing animal crossing or watching a movie, cuddled on the small dorm bed. They never seemed to mind the cramped space. He’s happy, honestly, to be Johnny’s best man. He’s seen the older boy grow ever since their freshmen year, and it’s an honor to be Johnny’s first pick after all these years. Well, second. Jaehyun knows he can never compete with Taeyong. 

“I’m going to check on Taeyong. Stay here, and make sure the napkins are placed _exactly_ as I did them. Okay?” Doyoung grabbed his arm, dragging him closer to the table. “Did you hear me?” 

“I got it, Doyoung! Everything is going to turn out fine.” 

Doyoung shot him a glare so fierce that Jaehyun let out a nervous chuckle, too high for his normal boisterous laugh. 

“Go, I got it from here! Check up on Prince Charming.” 

Jaehyun watched the older boy walk away with a fond smile on his face. His pout and chubby cheeks made him look like a bunny. 

\---

In, out. In, out. In, out. 

Jesus Christ, this breathing exercise was _not_ working. 

“Hey, Taeyong, how are you- oh, jesus, okay.” Doyoung knocked, opening the door as he talked. He stopped dead in his tracks at the state Taeyong was in, nose red and hair a mess. 

“What happened, bub?” 

Taeyong sniffed, reaching up to wipe at his eyes. He’d have to get his makeup fixed. 

“I’m scared.” The boy whispered, biting his lip to stop even more sobs from coming out. Doyoung cooed at him, sitting down and taking his hands into his own. Taeyong relaxed at the way Doyoung ran his thumb in soothing motions over his knuckles. 

“That’s okay. It’s okay to be scared. I bet Johnny is just as scared as you are, maybe even more.” Doyoung spoke softly, a total shift in tone from the way he was yelling in the reception room. “This is a completely new chapter in your lives. I’d be a little worried if you _weren’t_ scared. You just have to...look up. Don’t look down, don’t look behind you, don’t turn your head. Look straight ahead, at what’s in front of you. Look at Johnny. He’ll never let you fall.” 

Taeyong let his friends' words soak over him. He thought of Johnny, big and warm. He thought of Johnny’s smile, of his laugh, of the way he’d never leave without saying “I love you”. And, sure, he was still scared. But at least he never has to be scared alone anymore. 

“Thanks, Doyoung.” 

“Don’t thank me. Just get yourself all pretty again, okay? No tears until you say “I do”, got it?” 

Taeyong giggles at the stern tone the younger holds, voice still a little watery. 

“Aye, aye Captain!” 

\---

Johnny stood at the altar, hair slicked back to show off his eyebrows and bowtie perfectly 

straight. His mother scolded him for not wearing an actual tie, but Taeyong likes bowties more. 

They ended up having the ceremony in a pristine chapel, the stained glass casting rainbow colors over the pristine white floors. The place is packed, friends and family crowding the space. Johnny can see his little brother Donghyuck in the first row chatting with his friend Renjun, the two of them poking each other’s shoulder and stomachs. 

“Are you ready?” Jaehyun asks from behind him, in his best man position. 

“Yes. No? I’m nervous as fuck, to be honest with you.” The oldest shook his shoulders, trying to loosen the nerves that have locked his body up. “I am marrying the love of my life. It’s terrifying.” 

“Well, so is he. So just try not to make a fool of yourself in front of yours and his entire family, and it should be fine. You got this!” Jaehyun pats him twice on the back, harder than was really necessary. 

Right. He’s got this. Everything will be absolutely fine. 

And then the music starts, and the doors open, and the most beautiful person steps into the room. Johnny feels like he can’t _breath_. 

Taeyong is stunning in white, the blues and reds and purples of the stained glass windows caressing his face. His eyes sparkle even more than usual, and the bright smile on his face makes Johnny think he’s staring right at a shooting star. He makes a wish. 

Taeyong makes his way up the aisle with pink ears, arm and arm with his father. The two make it to the front and Taeyong’s father hands the boy’s hands over gently to Johnny, shooting a glare that’s not as hostile as he probably thinks it is. 

Johnny hopes his hands aren’t sweaty. He hopes his bowtie is still straight, and he _prays_ that he won’t stutter over anything today. Taeyong squeezes his hands, and only then does Johnny realize that the ceremony has started, _holy shit._

He loses focus through all the introductory things, focusing on Taeyong’s round eyes and the way his cheeks get brighter the longer Johnny keeps staring. 

“Now, would you please read your vows.” The priest says, motioning towards Johnny first. 

He reluctantly removes his hands from Taeyongs and retrieves a folded piece of paper from his front pocket. It’s frayed at the ends and the ink is just a bit smudged. 

“When I was younger, my mom told me a story about soulmates. She said that a soulmate is someone that you will be forever connected to in all of your lifetimes, someone who shares their whole being with you. I used to think it was all bullshit. But then we collided right into each other that day on campus, and I looked at you, and it’s like everything just suddenly fell into place. I can’t promise to never let you down, but I _can_ promise to love you with everything I have for this life, and the life after this. I love you so much, Lee Taeyong.” 

Johnny chokes up at the end, sucking in a deep breath, but it’s nothing compared to Taeyong. The younger boy has tears running down his cheeks, lips trembling. Johnny lets out a surprised laugh, tenderly cradling Taeyong’s face and wiping his tears as they escape. It’s unfair how pretty he is even when he’s crying. 

“Mr. Lee, your vows, please.” 

Taeyong nods hurriedly, clearing his throat as he straightens out his own piece of paper. Johnny smiles at the way Taeyong pouts his lips as he concentrates. 

“My dear Johnny. You quite literally fell for me on my first day at college, and I haven’t gotten rid of you since.” There’s a few chuckles around the church, and Johnny can’t stop _smiling._ “I want to thank you. For being my friend, for being someone I can always count on, and for loving me, even if it was a challenge at first. You held my hand, you kissed my tears away, and you loved me like no one else ever has. I want you to know that whenever it gets hard for you, if you ever need someone to hold your hand, then I will always be here for you. I love you, Johnny.” 

Mark lets out a tiny sob in the front row of Taeyong’s side, immediately hiding his face in his elbow. Jaemin smiles fondly at his boyfriend, running a hand through his hair. They're actually quite a few silent cries in the building, and even Johnny’s mother was wiping her tears with a napkin. 

“Johnny Seo, do you take Lee Taeyong to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health?” 

“I do.” 

“Lee Taeyong, do you take Johnny Seo to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health?” 

“I do.” 

“I now pronounce you two as husband and husband. You may kiss the groom!”

Johnny wastes no more time, swooping Taeyong in his arms and giving him a sweet kiss. There’s cheers all around, but it’s all background noise to the two. Taeyong’s arms are wrapped securely around Johnny’s neck, tickling his nape, and Johnny greedily chases the strawberry taste of his lips. 

“Our first kiss as a married couple.” Taeyong giggles, lips close enough to still touch Johnny’s as he speaks. Johnny bumps his nose against Taeyong’s, and he thinks his giggles sound like a choir of church angels. 

“And many more to come.” 


End file.
